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Bone Appetit: Round Two


Beef Bone Broth. The natural successor to Chicken Bone Broth. For real broth-ers, right? A commentary. Well, basically a play-by-play.

 The Stanky Leg
  • 1 whole onion quartered with skins
  • 2 lbs beef bones (roasted) 
  • Skins of 1 red onion 
  • 2 carrots, chopped roughly 
  • 1 celery stick 
  • Leaves from 1 celery heart 
  • 1/2 bunch (washed) parsley 
  • 2 chicken feet (I blanched them?) 
  • 2 bay leaves 
  • A spattering of peppercorns (probably less than 1 teaspoon) 
  • 1 gallon water 

There are peeps who are persuaded that too much plant matter can alter the flavor, so there’s that. There are peeps who argue for waiting until the last hour or so to put plant matter in. So, there’s that.

But I’m experimenting. So there’s that.

The Soak
  • 2 T vinegar 
  • 2 lbs beef bones (all bone and marrow, baby) 
  • 2 chicken paws 

 I let the bones and paws soak in a cold vinegar bath for like 30 minutes.  

 The Blanch

Still debatable as to whether its helpful or not. Used water from The Soak and crank up to a boil for 20 minutes. One may or may not scrape off the scum. The Broth Whisperer said that the scum is merely proteins, not toxins. But it sure looked skanky.

AND OH THE SMELL.

OOOH.

NOT GOOD.  

The Roast

400* for 1-2 hours. It smelled fine.  

The Cook
  • 5-6 qt crockpot 
  • Approx 1 gallon of water 
Fearing the smell of the The Blanch, I cooked this outside. I added the bones/ingredients plus water (I warmed to just below a boil on the stove before adding to the crockpot). Cooked below a simmer (I read to never let it boil!) for 8-48 hours… Everywhere I looked said that longer tends to be better. So baby, I did that.

Update 1: I am 16 hours into the cooking stage. As stated before, I placed the crockpot outside JUST in case. But it smells heavenly.

 Update 2: 36 hours into cooking; it hasn’t gotten above a baby simmer. No smells emanate from the pot.

Update 3: Pretty darn excited about all of this! Despite my skepticism, visions of health dancing in my head!  

The Eats

After 46 hours of nail-biting, I brought the treasure of dark brown goodness inside; it was fishing time: Two pounds of bones and two chicken paws. All crumbly goodness, haHA. Bro 2’s look of disgust when I presented an atrophied, crumbling chicken paw was priceless.

 It was disgusting.

 Stomach slightly roiling but still determined to try the magic elixir la delicatesse, I fished out everything and noted with pride the way those bones crumbled. Oh, yeah. That’s how it’s done. Fist bump to me, baby.

I carefully poured the soup into my mason jars and set them in the fridge, leaving a cup of soup to be my cuppa. I salted it generously, took in its dubious golden depths, and took a sip and nearly spat it out.
Oh. My. Goodness.

It was AWFUL. AWFUL!

Down the rabbit hole we go….

 Naturally, I began troubleshooting.

Okay, okay, I had 2 lbs marrow bones with no joint knuckles or crap that might make it taste better. One post suggested I overcooked it. More searching swore to my method of “longer is better.” The broth didn’t get above a bubble-simmer (that is, one bubble that “ploops” every three to eight seconds. roughly. It’s a technical term).

 Okaaaaay, no worries, I’ll save that broth for soup stock. I probably didn’t salt it enough, anyway.  

Day 3 post bone beef broth (PBBB)

French Onion Soup, calling my name. Hey, man. I’ve got some (supposedly) awesome-sauce broth in the freezer. Let’s get that sucker out and make some ah-mazing French Onion Soup. (Mothers are smart. Mother advised me to dilute the recipe rather than add 8 cups of straight up BBB. So I did).

Sldkfjlkjasdf.

Pffffffffft.

The onions smelled heavenly, the broth looked beautiful, a roasty-toasty golden brown that, when mixed with the caramelized onion fond, yielded an even richer, mouth-watering future for my dinner table. I added, yes, quite a bit of salt. To, uh, cover up the “beef flavor” (that’s a lie. It didn’t taste like beef at all!).

All of this (probably 3, irretrievable hours of my life) and the soup is “meh.” “Meh.” MEH.

And that’s when I began to realize, yet again, that this is going to be a long, long journey. Not bad….. necessarily. I am of the Gratification Generation of the Instant Now and am slowly learning that learning takes time. And journeys aren't usually short but that's not bad, it can be interesting, and probably will lead back to chicken bone broth cuz that was like totes easy and delish.

 So to drown my irritation at not having an amazing, good, conquered recipe to share, here is a DIFFERENT, simpler, but still tasty, soup which will not be as likely to hold your emotions in limbo as you wait for the taste to bloom in your mouth. I actually cooked this several weeks ago when I was faced with the prospect of fending for myself for a week on the food front.

“I need lunch food for work! “

Gasp.

Roll up those sleeves, Rosie the Riveter; batten the hinges, to the battle stations, darn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!

So this was my companion recipe during the Chicken Bone Broth fiasco.


Roasted Cauliflower Soup
(Adapted from SkinnyTaste)

 Ingredients:
  • 1 head cauliflower, cut into small florets 
  • 3 garlic cloves 
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon turmeric 
  • 2 tbsp light olive oil + 1 tbsp for cooking in pan 
  • 3 medium sized carrots, thinly sliced 
  • 1 yellow onion, thinly sliced
  • 3 cups broth of choice 
  • 1 key lime, sliced 
  • 1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, optional 
  • Kosher or sea salt salt, to taste 
  • 1 can full-fat coconut milk 

  • 1 red onion, sliced very thinly 
  • 1/2 Tablespoon olive oil 
  • 1 1/2 T balsamic vinegar
Equipment: Blender
  • 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro   

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 425°F. Crush the garlic. Mix cauliflower florets, crushed garlic, turmeric, and olive oil together until cauliflower is covered. Salt with a couple grinds of sea salt, or equivalent Bake cauliflower for 25-30 minutes or until tender.

Meanwhile, heat a pot over medium heat, add 1 tablespoon oil, yellow onion, and thinly sliced carrots and cook high and fast until caramelized, stirring frequently to scrape fond from pan to prevent burning.

Add the broth, roasted cauliflower, key lime, red pepper, and salt and simmer for 15 minutes, or until carrots are tender.

Meanwhile, take the thinly sliced red onion and place in pan with 1/2 T olive oil. Cook on high until just beginning to caramelize to golden color. Add balsamic vinegar and cook until it is reduced and/or evaporated; Add to soup.

 Stir in coconut milk; use blender to roughly blend 3/4 of the soup, leaving some chunky-chunks for interest. Serve topped with cilantro.

Verdict: Win

Taste: I really liked it. Good taste with the turmeric, the caramelized red/balsamic onions lent it a nice undertone and rounded the flavor. Light heat at the back of the throat from the crushed red pepper flakes, a subtle brightness from the key lime. So good!!!

***A Brief Note: ***

Most recipes I totally change because I don’t have all of the ingredients. No curry or whatever? WELL, LET’S JUST NOT PUT IT IN, THEN (because I probably forgot to get what I needed at the store. Yeah, that totally happened with this recipe).

What are some amusing cooking mishaps that you have had? Or have you ever saved a recipe that seemed doomed to failure?

Much love!


P.S. Okaaaaay, so if ya dilute the Onion Soup with a couple cups of water and let it sit in the fridge for a day… It is actually pretty good. Okay, okay, really good. Don’t mind the swollen ankles from the amount of sea salt I added; that stuff is smooth.  


Source List: 

http://www.paleohacks.com/bone-broth/my-house-smells-horrible-with-bone-broth-brewing-am-i-doing-something-wrong-4782 How to troubleshoot the stanky broth.

https://ohhellopaleo.wordpress.com/2013/10/20/holy-crp-is-bone-broth-supposed-to-smell-like-that/ An amusing look at the woes of stanky broth.

http://www.skinnytaste.com/turmeric-roasted-cauliflower-soup/#GFXXMVxbCRo4SwVL.99 The original recipe.

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